February

Forgiveness. While love is often associated with February, forgiveness is the theme that kept circling me this month. Perhaps it’s because forgiveness is an act of love; an expression of self-love and love for others. Forgiveness helps us to heal cracks in our hearts and mend fractures in the psyche. It also sends love into the universe. We need this more now than ever!

Forgiveness can be challenging but it is essential for our emotional wellbeing.

Is there a person you need to forgive — a parent, partner, child, friend, or coworker?

I’ve had a few people on my list over the years. One was my father. In my 20’s, my mother suggested I start this process as a way to minimize the impact our lack of relationship would have on my life. I can’t say that I was successful then, but I was over the last several years. My father died last month. Boy, am I glad I got there.

So, I’ll ask again. Is there a person you need to forgive?

Here are some simple steps to help you get started.

1. Acknowledge your feelings - Recognize and accept your hurt, anger, or resentment without judgment.

2. Gain perspective - Try to understand the situation from different angles, including the other person's point of view and the bigger picture - humanity and peace.

3. Release expectations - Let go of expectations about apologies or changed behavior from the other person.

4. Practice empathy - Consider that most people act from their own pain or limitations. Often, they’re doing the best that they can.

5. Focus on the present - Redirect your energy toward current relationships and opportunities rather than past injuries.

Remember that forgiveness is a process, not an event. Be patient with yourself as you work through these steps at your own pace. Start small. Enjoy the freedom of letting go.

This leads me to this month’s quick tip.

Letting go

Why let go? The better question is, why hold on to things that no longer serve us? Holding on keeps us rooted in the past or in the future. It ties up precious energy and prevents us from fully living in the present.

Letting go is a form of forgiveness. Another act of self and other love. Like forgiveness, letting go is not an event. It is a process and practice.

Most of you have probably heard of the “let them theory” popularized by Mel Robbins. I often refer to this as the “not my monkey, not my circus” approach. In other words, don’t let yourself be dragged into someone else’s problem, drama, or story. Instead, let them have it and mindfully let it go.

Coming soon: Last month I mentioned my new online women’s group which will soft launch in early spring. Below are more details.

1. Early spring soft launch with 8 people max.

2. The first session will last 60 minutes and focus on understanding the transition cycle for the various types of transitions we commonly face (relationship, personal and work life, health and wellness, etc.)

3. For founding members, the first session will be $19.

4. Depending on the topic and interest, meeting frequency will be four shorter weekly sessions focused on a monthly theme, or one longer session.

   
   

If you’re interested, reply to this email and let me know. If you’ve already expressed interest, then you’re on my invitation list!

Swans

Recently, several swans have landed along our shoreline. I feel fortunate to be in their presence and I am awestruck by their grace and beauty. As always, I reflect on what this encounter—mother nature’s mirror—will teach me.

Swans are a symbol of wisdom evoking a sense of home and awakening the true inner beauty and power of self, balance, and grace in our dealing with others.

This ecotherapy practice brings me full circle to the topic of forgiveness and my ability to let go.

What new habit or routine do you want to build? What obstacle do you want to overcome? When and how will you start?

He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. - C.G. Jung