October

Trusting Our Instincts

Reflecting back on October, I find myself contemplating instincts—that innate wisdom we carry but so often override with overthinking, external expectations, or the belief that empirical data alone should guide our choices. This month has reminded me of the importance of waking up to the natural world and recognizing our place in it, not as separate observers but as animals with our own instinctual intelligence.

It's easy to look back at past decisions with regret, especially when we didn't listen to our gut—a marriage that ended, a job we took or left, a house we bought or sold. We tell ourselves we know how life could have been "better" had we made a different choice. But what if those decisions were actually the "right" ones? What if there is no wrong choice, just a choice? After all, they made us who we are today. Perhaps they were necessary—our instincts guiding us toward growth we couldn't yet see.

The truth is, some of my biggest “I know in my gut this is the right decision” moments, despite what the empirical "facts" suggested at the time, have been instrumental in shaping me into who I am, and for those, I am deeply grateful. My instincts have been working all along, even when I questioned them afterward.

So the real work isn't about regretting past choices—it's about consciously cultivating, trusting, and listening to our instincts as we face future decisions. Should I go back to school? Change jobs? Buy a house? Move across the country? The practice is learning to value our gut knowledge alongside empirical data as equals, not defaulting to one over the other. In our culture, we often discount the gut. What if we honored it instead?

Here are ways to cultivate and trust your instincts:

• Recognize your instincts have always been guiding you - Look back at pivotal decisions and notice how your gut was speaking, even if you didn't fully trust it then

• Practice body awareness - Your instincts live in your body, not just your mind; notice physical sensations when facing choices

• Value gut and data as equals - Give your instinctual knowing the same weight as empirical facts when making decisions

• Remember you’re part of nature - Like all animals, you have innate wisdom about what you need; trust it

  
  

Your practical takeaway: When facing a decision, try the "Instinct + Data Dialogue." First, ask your gut: "What does my body/instinct say about this?" Notice the immediate physical response. Then gather your empirical data. Finally, have a conversation between the two: "What is my instinct telling me that the data can't? What is the data showing me that my instinct might be missing?" Make your choice from this integrated place. For added confirmation or when in need of a tiebreaker, check in with your heart.

Brief Updates:

Our October 15th women's group session was another meaningful gathering, and I'm grateful for the continued depth of our conversations.

Next session: Wednesday, November 12th at 4 PM ET.

Topic: Setting & Maintaining Boundaries with a focus on Finding Your Voice

If you haven't already responded and are interested in joining our supportive community, please email me. The investment remains $27 per session.

Closing Reflection

During a particularly windy October stretch, two boats came unmoored in our harbor and ran aground during low tide. Seeing the boats as I rounded the corner reminded me of what happens when we lose connection to what anchors us—when we ignore our instincts or drift from our inner knowing. Even the strongest vessel needs proper mooring to weather the storms.

In contrast, during a beach walk with my pups, I witnessed a pod of seals swimming effortlessly between water and shore. They didn't overthink which element to inhabit or second-guess their movements. They simply trusted their nature, following instincts honed over millennia. There was no hesitation, no internal debate—just fluid response to what they needed in each moment.

These seals reminded me that we, too, are animals with built-in wisdom. We've just forgotten how to listen. The natural world shows us that instinct isn't something primitive to overcome—it's sophisticated intelligence we need to reclaim.

What instincts have you been ignoring or overriding? What might shift if you trusted your gut knowledge as much as you trust external data? How might you reconnect to the animal wisdom that already lives within you?

“You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves." — Mary Oliver